Let yourself and others grow

I heard something when I was younger that stuck with me: ‘the first thing you think is what you’ve been taught to think; the second is what you actually think’.

It took time (and a lot of growing up) to realise some of the opinions I had were both damaging and limiting; I don’t want to go into detail because I’m ashamed of them. They were very right-wing opinions formed from a lifetime of privilege and an unwillingness to see other sides of the story. What’s worse is there are artefacts of my past self online—some of which I’ve locked down and hidden away and some of which are out of my grasp, floating around on now defunct social networks.

All of which would be easily accessible to anyone who wanted to find something controversial on me.

The problem is that’s not me anymore. I’ve had the amazing fortune to travel extensively and see other cultures with my own eyes; I’ve met people from all walks of life at university and I’ve broadened my horizons with the journalism I choose to consume. I’ve challenged my preconceptions in myriad ways and I’ve become much more open to seeing the world through other people’s eyes, realising my perception of life is vastly different to that of the person next to me. I’ve learnt so much: about culture and experience; about privilege and how to recognise it; about patience and compassion; how to stand up for others and use my privilege for their gain; how to correct myself and catch myself from falling into those old ways. I am unrecognisable from the person I was before and it breaks my heart to think I could—and would—be judged on those old opinions should anyone want to.

This is a common sight: the worst thing you can be in this day and age is ‘problematic’. Internet sleuths can dig up anything on you, and genuinely making efforts to be a better person does not protect you from this eventuality. I’ve only been on this journey to make myself a better person for eight years; there is so much further to go and as society evolves, it’ll be even easier to dredge up my previously-okay, now-unacceptable opinions ten years from now.

Sometimes it seems once you’ve said or done something, you can’t ever go back on it: this is a lie.

We must allow ourselves and each other to learn from mistakes and grow as individuals. What we said or did before does not define us because opinions and beliefs can change and ignorance is not an indication of evil. While there will always be the unrepentant, let yourself and other people grow. ■

Jade Sterling