What is self-care?

While self-care can be picturesque and dreamy, there's more to it than candles and facemasks.

Scroll through your social media; what do you see? Wool socks on a fluffy duvet, manicured hands cradling a steaming mug of chai tea, candles and wine glasses teetering on the edge of a bath while a bath bomb fizzles away, intricately plated avocado on toast, a face mask slathered onto perfect skin. All examples of self-care, of taking a few moments (or hours!) to yourself after a stressful week.

And yep, while self-care can be picturesque and dreamy, that’s not all there is to it.

Self-care is simply taking care of yourself. It’s keeping yourself clean and fed as well as the more indulgent side of a glass of wine and a bubble bath. Self-care does not need to be Instagram-worthy; you do not need to feel the pressure to conform to standards of self-care. If you’re feeding yourself nutritious food, getting enough sleep, staying in touch with friends and family, and generally looking after yourself—that’s self-care!

Self-care is brushing your teeth and changing your sheets; self-care is accepting help and admitting you need it; self-care is your weekly yoga class or daily coffee. It’s being kind to yourself, treating yourself with care and respect. It’s doing what you need to thrive. It’s essential for everyone—and especially important for those with any mental health concerns.

It’s much easier to buy a fancy candle and a face mask than it is to talk about what you’re dealing with; change your medication; or wash your hair. It’s much more romantic to treat yourself than it is to cook a balanced meal when all you want to do is curl up on the sofa after a long day’s work; but self-care isn’t always romantic, and it isn’t always Instagrammable. Self-care isn’t indulgent—it’s essential. We need to watch how we talk about self-care, because while words like ‘indulge’ and ‘treat’ can be harmless and apt, using them can make us feel like looking after ourselves is an indulgent treat—it ain’t.

Self-care can be forcing yourself out of bed, brushing your teeth, stepping outside and dragging yourself to work. It can be doing a load of washing after a week of letting the clothes pile up in your bedroom corner. It can be stepping into a doctor’s office to finally get that weird growth on your finger checked out. It can be cancelling a third night out in a row for an early bedtime.

True self-care isn’t selfish—it’s part of leading a happy and healthy life. But it’s not easy. It can take real, conscious effort to make the choices that will contribute to your wellness, rather than just treating the symptoms of daily wear and tear.

Look after yourself properly. Eat well and focus on nutrition but don’t deprive yourself; make time for friends and family but don’t feel obliged to do everything; get regular sleep and enjoy the odd lazy Sunday morning; shower, wash your hair and brush your teeth, and put on a face mask every once in a while. Make time for yourself and prioritise your wellbeing. That’s self-care. ■