Your experiences make you who you are

Your experiences make you who you are

There are so many different types of people in this world. Everyone with their own story—it might not be the same as yours, but it is their story. Every single moment in a life plays a part in defining what person they are and who they will become. Happiness, fear, love, loss—experiences that are always changing your life’s direction.

Like most people, I have experienced all four first-hand and the person I am today is far different from the person I would be without them. I’m not saying that if I had a special time turner I wouldn’t use it to turn the clock back for some things, but I am grateful for the strength it has given me. Our emotions are powerful, and it is the dents and scratches in our lives and often our hearts that mould us into the people we are.

These experiences have shaped many of my traits—some favourable, and some not so favourable—but it is identifying these and learning to deal with them that counts. I’m definitely still learning how to do this, but I do know I have changed a lot in the past few years and I put a lot of it down to the people in my life. I’m talking about the positive influences who bring out the best version of you—by accepting you for you, but also by calling you out when you’re wrong or unfair (I’m a bit of a known princess—so for that to be humoured and sometimes called out too is good.) 

A few years back, I could be very defensive, I would struggle to take criticism, and could often find the blade of negative in a field of positives. I also found it very hard to talk about my feelings. I am a very loving person, but the minute you ask me about someone I’ve lost, or feelings I haven’t dealt with, I’m the first one on the hoover, making a cuppa, asking a new question or walking the dog (I don’t have a dog.) I’m learning to process things in a different way:

Take the negatives as a positive

Without knowing your weaknesses, how are you meant to improve them?

Use those around you

You can’t be an expert in everything, so don’t see it as a weakness to ask those more experienced in a certain field for help.

Don’t always say yes!

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

This is the hardest one for me. I am a ‘say yes’ kind of girl. I am known for triple booking myself, just because I ‘feel bad’ and don’t want to upset someone by saying no. Being a yes girl is always going to be in my nature as it is what keeps me ticking, but I am now more aware of accepting what is humanly possible (until the invention of being three places at once becomes a thing anyway…) My boyfriend found it very bizarre when I would say yes to a plan, even though I already had a plan and knew I wouldn’t be able to go—I’m starting to see this is a very weird personality trait.

Write your feelings down

For me, the minute I start writing, things come out that I didn’t even know were going on in my head. Sometimes it is good to have that bit of therapy, and even to see them written on a piece of paper. Then you can deal with them one at a time—and if you can’t, you can put them away for another day.

Find someone who understands you and wants to know

I have the most supportive friends and family, and now have the most supportive partner. I need a bit of a push on the feelings side of things, and he has stayed patient while encouraging and highlighting the importance of talking about my feelings out loud (poor him, now I just don’t stop.) To find that person in life is amazing and has allowed me to talk about things I don’t think I have ever addressed.

There are so many different types of people in this world. Everyone with their own story – it might not be the same as yours, but it is their story. Every single moment in a life plays part in defining what person they are and who they will become. Happiness, fear, love, loss—experiences that are always changing your life’s direction.