Make yourself happier with just a smile

Make yourself happier

with just a smile

They say 50 percent of our happiness comes from our genes, 10 percent from the daily happenings in our lives, and a massive 40 percent from the things we choose to think and do—so even if we have a genetically negative emotional bias, and our lives are quite difficult, we can still make ourselves at least 40 percent happier. This has to be good news for everyone!

Looking back, I think I have always had a pretty positive mental attitude, perhaps because I was fortunate enough to have an incredibly positive family, who taught me always to look for the good—or perhaps because I was just like that—which I guess, genetically, boils down to the same thing.

As a child, when I wasn’t caught up in the maelstrom of school and social life, I had a busy secret life which I took pains to conceal, because it involved incredibly uncool stuff like gardening, cooking, and walking the dog—as if I unconsciously felt the best way to cope with the ups and downs of school life was to lose myself in mindful activities, like weeding my vegetable patch, baking bread, or just roaming the countryside in the company of a crazy collie dog. It probably sounds unthinkable to a modern young person—even in some ways now to me—that I could go ‘offline’ for so many hours, and disappear, unsupervised into the countryside—but that is how it was, in the halcyon 70s!

However, there was perhaps a second element to many of my pastimes: I loved giving away the hard-won fruits (and vegetables) of my toils; equally, it was a great feeling to surprise the family with newly-baked cakes or bread; and there is nothing more rewarding than the joy of a collie set free to run—0 to 50mph in about 20 seconds! The value of giving unconditionally has now been scientifically proven, and I must have felt it way back then. My sister and I loved running errands for the older folk of the village—the 70s version of Random Acts of Kindness, I suppose. And if that makes us sound slightly too perfect to be true, don’t worry! We often got to keep the deposit money (from taking empty glass bottles back to the shop) and where there were kindly elderly people, there were usually cakes, fizzy drinks and stories of yesteryear—so it worked well on both sides! 

But that is the thing about kindness: it works both ways. In fact, research has now proved that an act of kindness is cardioprotective—for both the giver and receiver—causing a release of oxytocin in both, which reduces blood pressure by lowering cortisol and adrenaline.

The simplest kindness you can do for anyone is to give them a smile. Once the brain recognises your facial muscles are in a smiling position, it triggers a chemical reaction, releasing a series of ‘happy hormones’, both in the giver and receiver of the smile. Endorphins increase your feelings of positivity and relieve pain; dopamine increases your happiness; and serotonin is a natural anti-depressant, which combats stress. A smile also stimulates the ‘mirror neurones’ (copycat cells) in the recipient’s brain—meaning they smile too—and get a burst of happy hormones of their own.

It has been estimated that one smile or act of kindness releases an amount of happy hormones equivalent to eating 2,000 chocolate bars! And each smile, or act of kindness, creates a ripple effect which is passed on to three degrees of separation—meaning it has a measurable physical and mental benefit not only to you, but to the recipient, and to a whole host of other people besides.

And, on those days when you really don’t feel smiley, you can pretend. If you set your face into a false smile (or put a pencil in your mouth so your face makes a smile shape—genuinely!), your brain will recognise the shape of those facial muscles, and release the happy hormones anyway, so in no time at all you will feel better and happy enough to smile for real.

Another way you can ‘self-medicate’ with happy hormones is by focusing on your character strengths and using them to address other, weaker areas of your life. Think honestly about what you are good at—and if you are unsure, ask a good friend or take a strengths test online. Usually you will find that your strengths are also the things you enjoy doing best, because when you are doing them you feel comfortable and so your brain will be releasing dopamine. Positivity guru and Father of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman, talks about the power of focusing on our strengths to help us to ‘flourish’—his word for living a happy and fulfilled life—because while we are thinking about the things that we do well, we feel happier and are therefore more willing to try other things, with which we may be less comfortable.

Take, for example, being decisive. I used to find it really difficult to make clear decisions in social situations. I was always the person who said, ‘I don’t mind’ and let other people decide—until I realised my indecision was making other people feel uncomfortable. So, I used my top character strength—love—to empower me to make a change in my behaviour. I didn’t want to make people feel awkward, so I forced myself to be more decisive in social situations—using my top strength to address a character weakness. In a similar way, I have learned to self-care better, because—as someone cunningly pointed out to me—I am no good to anyone else if I am burnt out! Addressing weaker areas of your character in this way allows you to do so without loss of self-confidence—and often, once the change has been made, gives you an even greater feeling of success and empowerment.

So, crank out your strengths, be kind to people and smile because, as JM Barrie said: ‘Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves’.

Some useful happiness stuff:

·        Did you know there is a Museum of Happiness in London, where they run lots of courses and events to help you to learn about happiness and wellbeing?

·        If you want to find out more about why kindness is good for you, Dr David Hamilton explains it in a very entertaining way.

·        Action for Happiness runs courses, events and generally promotes personal happiness and wellbeing.