How to support someone with their mental health

How to support someone with their mental health

Living with mental health issues can be rough. But what they don’t tell you is that living with and loving someone with a mental health problem is pretty hard too.

I must admit I haven’t given much thought to what it is like to exist with a condition that doesn’t just torture you physically but goes for the mind until I met my partner. He struck me as the most caring, loving, positive and understanding guy I’d ever met; to say that I was swept away would be an understatement. So I didn’t really give much thought to the occasional spots of what I thought at the time were bad moods.

Things changed when we started living together and there was no longer anywhere to hide the scale of these ‘moods’… The man I thought I knew was having some really tough times. I didn’t understand what was happening and why things I considered so trivial were causing the reactions and emotions I was getting from my partner. At times it made me question my own sanity. Eventually, I recognised that what I was dealing with was a case of a mental disorder.

The scope of mental health disorders is huge and there are all sort of specifics for each condition in ways I’m not even aware of, but I would like to share a few things that helped me personally, not only in dealing with my partner, but for my overall well-being and my interactions with people around me:

- Show your loved ones you are there for them and don’t devalue their emotions. If you have never suffered from a mental disorder you probably will never understand what they are going through. Learn empathy if you are not naturally predisposed to it.

- Try not to take some of  your loved ones’ heightened words and actions personally. In most cases they are just crying out for help and support.

- Meditate and encourage your loved one to turn to meditation. It can help you to step back from the feeling that might be consuming you or your friend, partner, family member. I particularly liked the comparison I recently heard that meditation enables you to see the real life rather the story your mind is telling you.

- If they haven’t done so already, get them to seek professional help. You can help to a certain extent, but it takes a professional to give the care they need. This is often the hardest thing to do as people don’t want the stigma of being ‘someone with mental health problems’. Often, seeing a professional is considered the final resort and requires admitting failure. According to the World Health Organisation, 1 in 4 people will be affected by a mental disorder at some point in their life. The work that is currently being done to support mental health awareness should break the stigma and encourage people with mental health disorders to feel more supported and not ashamed about seeking help.

- Finally, and most importantly, take care of yourself and your own mental health. It’s no surprise that in emergency situations they say that you should put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. Perhaps you feel you should stay strong for your partner, family member, friend, but it should not be damaging your well-being. Make sure to set some boundaries, listen to your feelings and evaluate your emotions. If you feel you need support, seek help, including professionals.