Conquering a new city

Tips for going it alone

by Fiona Sharland

Packing up 32kg of your life into a suitcase and setting off for a brand new city all on your own can be one of the most daunting experiences of your life—but also one of the most defining. Whether it’s temporary or permanent, give up your home comforts and delve into new and unfamiliar waters.

When I first moved to Los Angeles, I couldn’t quite believe the size of it. Did you know there are over 85 separate incorporated cities in LA, each about the size of my own sleepy hometown back in the UK? I thought it was just one city; how would I ever get my head around that?

The trick is, don’t overthink it. Once you’ve got your base set up, you have to launch yourself in at the deep end. Get straight out there and explore the city on your own. It can be scary at first, but as long as you maintain some level of ‘street smarts’, there is nothing to fear—Google maps is your best friend.

Start small: set yourself little missions like finding the post office, going for a walk in the park or treating yourself to that $10 coffee you’ve been eyeing up on Instagram for months—yes, it really is that good, and yes it really is $10!

Once you’ve gained some confidence navigating around, progress to taking the bus or the metro on your own to somewhere further away—somewhere you’ve never been before. Get used to spending the whole day exploring a new area, being spontaneous and enjoying what this new place has to offer. When journeys become more routine, i.e. commuting to work or university day in and day out, make sure you take the time to go back the scenic way when you can. This way you’ll get to know the area more fully and may discover that hidden gem of a coffee shop which sells lattes for less than $10! Rely on yourself and know that you can rely on yourself.

Learn to enjoy your own company

Moving somewhere new on your own is a huge personal milestone. It’s worth realising that you don’t need to make friends right away. Take that pressure away, especially while you’re still getting used to being in a new place combatting culture-shock and looking after yourself. I’ve heard so many people say to me (RE: university) that you make your lifelong friends in freshers week or not at all. Let me tell you, this is about as true as the earth being flat.

In the meantime, start enjoying your own company. If you want to go see that new movie, but you don’t have anyone to go with, take your new best friend (you). You are great company, there’s nobody to please, nobody to wait around for—only maximum time to do what you came here to do. Don’t worry if you don’t make friends immediately. If you feel lonely, combat that loneliness with music, radio, podcasts and reruns of home improvement TV series on repeat in the background.

I met a lot of people when I was studying from all over the world, but I can honestly say that I will probably only stay in touch with one. Invest your time with the people that are going to be your life-friends, you don’t have to go to every social event and be the big name on campus. Be yourself, people will love you.

Take up a hobby

The single best way to meet like-minded people and form more meaningful friendships is doing something you’re passionate about. Take up a hobby, find something you can add into your routine to make you happy. Yoga classes are a great way to bring positivity into your day and also a great way to meet people who are guaranteed to not be in a bad mood at the end of a class. When I was doing my Masters, I opted to take a Music Industry night class one day a week. Not only did I learn a lot that was useful for my career, but I met loads of interesting, creative people who loved music as much as I do. From there, whenever I saw a gig I wanted to go to, I had a list of people to ask. I met lovely, genuine people to whom I could talk endlessly about music, living in LA and everything in between.

Tidy house, tidy mind

Did you know untidiness and clutter can lead to greater levels of anxiety and depression? The stress of moving to a new city is enough to cope with as it is, so why make things worse for yourself when you get through the front door? One of the best things I can recommend is to take the time to make your house your haven. Make it somewhere you want to return to every day. Keep it clean and tidy but make it your own, even if you’re only going to be there temporarily. It doesn’t have to cost the world, but treat yourself to a couple of candles here and there, put up lots of photos of friends and family, and buy yourself a house plant.

Make a bucket list

Think about things you want to do while you are here, however big or small. Which areas do you want to see, which museums do you want to visit? Go through a travel book and make a list so you’re never at a loss for things to do. This is a great way of making the most of your time while you’re there.

Seize every opportunity, personal and professional.

When I was studying at UCLA, I was given the opportunity (to my complete shock) to intern at a law firm for one of the most amazing female lawyers I’ve ever met. She was a complete inspiration to me and I was over the moon to be offered. However, and there’s always a however, this meant taking four days out of my already-busy UCLA law schedule to work long—very long days—in Hollywood for no money. I don’t regret a thing. It taught me, above all, what it’s like to work in an American firm—which all the university fees in the world can’t buy. I realised that I'm capable of more than I thought I was. Push your boundaries, say yes to every opportunity and you’ll be amazed at what can happen.

Immerse yourself in the culture

This might be an obvious one, but I think it’s important when you move to a new city to embrace the culture however you can. You’re there for a reason, you chose this place, so make the most of it by allowing yourself to discover new things and become more educated about the culture there. And get used to people saying, ‘Oh you have an accent!’Moving to sunny California, which although granted was not entirely a ‘culture shock’, still required me to learn about the different customs over there and overcome some of my well-entrenched British mindset. One that took me a long time to get used to was the tipping-culture, 20 percent if its ‘Bad Service’ - absolutely mental! 35 percent if it’s good! Don’t expect to be saving any money any time soon. Try to make small changes to help this adjustment. Watch whatever TV shows are well-loved over there, listen to local radio, watch the local news every morning. You may learn something!

Look after yourself

Nothing is more important than looking after your own mental and physical health at this time of your life. Eat right, sleep well, and seek help if you need it. Spend time preparing food and embrace that meal for one!

Ditch any expectations

There’s just no point expecting anything: this experience will be different for everyone.

Hold on to you

Moving somewhere new can be the most life-changing and amazing thing you will ever do, but avoid the cliché of ‘finding yourself’ at all costs. Hold on to who you are and build on this with new experiences and a broader perspective. Courage is only needed when there is fear, anxiety and uncertainty otherwise it wouldn’t be needed, but these are the emotions which cause vulnerability, so accept them as part of the process. Grow from them into the strong, positive and awesome person you are. ■